In a breakup, especially when we have lost someone that we love and wanted a future with,

our instincts can work against us.

They can make us chase that person, text them, call them, do anything we can to keep them in our lives.

But these things weaken us at precisely the time we need to stay strong and emotionally

healthy. Enter the no contact rule. The no contact rule is essentially the period of time

over which we decide having no contact is for the best when it comes to our X. And this has two

positive effects. The first one is it actually gives us a chance at recovering without constantly

reopening the wound by communicating with this person. The second big effect that it can have,

though this isn't why we

should do it, is that it actually makes the person realize what they've lost. If someone is

continuously in contact with us, they never feel the effects of the breakup that they instigated.

Now, you may be wondering, how long should I go no contact for?

Look, I don't think there's any hard and fast rule, and I don't think you should trust someone

who says exactly the amount of time that you should go for. But as a recommendation,

giving yourself a clear month after the breakup to have no contact with a person is a pretty good bet.

So let's focus on the next 30 days.

Now what I know from coaching people in this area for nearly two decades of my life is that

there are moments where it gets confusing and complicated and you don't know what to do.

So I want to break down for you when it's okay to break the no contact rule

and when it's not. By the way, before we get into these scenarios, if this video is resonating with you,

it's probably because you're going through a heartbreak right now.

And if you are, I want to tell you that what I'm doing

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