What is step one?

Yeah, step one is often just holding each other.

One of the techniques, I have these two techniques that come from one of my books.

One of my most popular books is a book called Sexual Soulmates.

Because sexual soulmates are not out there waiting for you. You co-create your connection with your

partner. And even if you've lost that connection, you can have many renaissance in your relationship

throughout the years. You can come back together and it can be better than ever again.

And there are two techniques out of that book that I think are kind of like a foundation.

One of them is called the sexual soulmate pact, and that pact is an agreement between partners

where I can say anything I want to you and you're going to be happy I told you,

and you're not going to take it as criticism or you did anything wrong, you're going to be

hungry for me to tell you what I have an appetite for, what I want, how I'm feeling. Am I a kitty cat?

Do you need to hold me in your arms? Do you need to pet me? Do you need to let me release and calm

down and get some things off my chest? Do you just need to

provide that holding? Or am I a lioness? Do I want you to ravish me? Do I want to be pounced on?

I want you to carry me to the bedroom and throw me down on the bed and rip my clothes off and tell me how gorgeous I am and eat me up.

We want those things in that range all the time.

But what couples forget is to start with holding and being held.

Because when we do that, we generate oxytocin.

And the oxytocin is kind of like the antidote to all the cortisol we're pumping out constantly with the kids and the school and the

stress and the job and the politics and the, you know, all this crazy stuff. We need to be held and to hold. So step one then is have the conversation

and step two is to just hold essentially, hold each other. You don't even need to have a conversation.

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