What it becomes is just two people trying to impress each other and not realizing that one of the ways to impress each other is being impressable.

Hey guys, it's Matthew. Welcome back to the Love Life podcast. We've been trying to mix it up lately and give you an assortment of different kinds of episodes.

Sometimes they're longer with me and Steven, sometimes they're shorter, something from the archives, a key moment, a key rant I went on, something that we think can help you, there's a little more bite sized.

So check this one out and I'll speak to you at the end of the episode.

You wrote about a concept on the blog that did really, really well and resonated with people and it was about one of the biggest mistakes that women make when they flirt on a date or at least I guess when they're trying to flirt.

I think this is a woman thing, it's an everyone thing.

I've been to China last year and what they're really saying is I did something that's quite cool and they want to talk about it but then what the other person will do is they'll go, oh I've been to China as well.

It's like story-trumping, that's what I think.

I live there for three months, my friend lived there for ten years. As you say, what it becomes is just two people trying to impress each other and not realizing that one of the ways to impress each other, which you have mentioned in terms of being impressable.

I feel like it's not always just an attempt to be competitive. I think actually in a strange way is someone's desire to connect.

Yeah, actually thinks that they're connecting when they say, oh you know something about that, here's everything I know about that.

They don't always think they're trying to win, they're sometimes trying to actually go, oh great, now I can deliver this.

They don't know. It's like me, like me, like me, like me, right? It's a shame because the greatest way for them to connect right now would be to show that they have acknowledged and enjoyed something that that person has said.

So I think in a strange way it's coming from a good place a lot of the time.

If you said to someone, what you're saying here is actually taking something away from someone, it actually is robbing them of a great feeling. They would feel sad about that because they would want to give someone that feeling, but we don't even realize we're doing it.

Now here's my question because I think someone will be, there will be people listening to this and saying, okay fair enough, right?

This woman goes on a date and she listens intently and is excited and shows that she thinks it's wonderful and asks more questions instead of jumping in with everything she knows immediately.

But what if she says, okay I did that, but he just kept talking and at no point did he actually ask me a question, it was all about him.

Yeah, I think what you do, let them have their moment, then offer something yourself and see how they respond. So it's like a test, you then see, did they actually show interest?

Yeah, I agree with that. So don't fall into the trap of simply asking question after question and never contributing information.

Like given the acknowledgement, compliment, interest and then you follow up.

Acknowledgement, compliment, interest, which can come in the form of asking another question about it. And then contribute what you can contribute to the subject.

...