(Rewind): They’re "Not Sure" They Can Commit to You? These Words Put YOU in Control

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 24 January 2025

⏱️ 6 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

"I’m not sure if I’m ready for a relationship with you right now. . .”

Nobody wants to hear these words.

Especially when it’s coming from someone you genuinely care about.

Someone you’ve invested time and energy in. . . and someone you feel could be the right person for you in the long term.

It leaves you wishing they could just get over their indecision...

If that sounds familiar, I have a simple solution:

Because there IS a right way and a wrong way to handle this situation...

The wrong way is to try and convince them of all the reasons you’re a great fit (even if every reason is true). This can accidentally push them further away. . .

The right way to handle this situation is to meet their confusion with love and kindness, while also standing strong and respecting yourself.

(Here’s the surprising part: this is actually an incredible opportunity to show your value and remind them of what they risk losing.)

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I know that I need someone who is completely in
0:04.0	because I wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't 100% about wanting to be with me. What's up everybody? Welcome back to Love Life, the podcast. This episode is one from the archives, a nice little rewind episode for you.
0:39.2	I hope you enjoy it.
0:40.6	And if you have any feedback or questions for future episodes, email us podcast at Matthewhussey.com.
0:51.6	I want to talk about some words that men say to women that women do not look forward to.
0:58.0	I'm not sure if I am ready for a relationship.
1:01.0	I'm assuming that you're watching this because this is a guy that you do actually care about,
1:06.0	that despite saying he's not really ready for a relationship or that he's not sure, is not necessarily a bad guy, but just a guy who is confused,
1:14.6	and a guy that despite his confusion, you still either like or love,
1:20.6	and both want the best for and want the best possible shot up being with.
1:25.6	So with that in mind, here's what you can say.
1:28.8	It seems like you need to go away and figure out what you want
1:34.1	and be on your own for a while.
1:37.7	And I want your happiness more than anything in the world.
1:41.8	I just want you to be happy. So I feel like you need to go and
1:46.8	be alone in order to figure out what you want. And I hope that I'm still here when you're ready.
1:54.9	But until then, I know that I need someone who is completely in because I wouldn't want to be with someone who
2:03.3	isn't 100% about wanting to be with me. Here's what I love about you saying all of this. He's not
2:10.3	sure what he wants and trying to make him more sure about you isn't going to make him more sure.
2:19.6	All it's going to do is make him feel like he's being sold on something. Instead, you saying, I think you're right. You need to go
2:27.4	away and figure out what you want and you need to be alone to do that. He's now scared because he's like,
2:33.8	now I have to go and be on my own and maybe I don't want to do that.
	...

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