(Rewind): THIS Could Be Sabotaging Your Relationships . . .
Love Life with Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey
4.8 • 2.9K Ratings
🗓️ 16 February 2024
⏱️ 8 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
And when this has happened to me I know I’ve not brought up the issue in a productive way. In fact, I’ve often approached the subject in a way I later regretted.
What about you? Have you said something you wish you hadn’t? Reacted in a way you wish you could take back?
It’s a horrible feeling when we “sober up” emotionally, the cloud of anger or upset subsides, and we are left with this sinking feeling that somehow we’ve just messed it all up.
If you can relate to being the kind of person whose emotions and anxieties can be easily triggered in a relationship, this epsidoe is really going to help you.
Let’s take back control over those emotions and put you back in the driver’s seat. And let’s learn to use our moments of friction to make our relationships even more beautiful.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The fear, the hurt, the sadness, that I'm not enough of it all has been converted into anger. |
| 0:07.2 | And anger means we now arm ourselves with our weapons and we attack. Hey everybody. It's Matthew Hussey with the Love Life Podcast. I am excited to share this clip with you today. Let's get into it. |
| 0:42.0 | Are you sabotaging your relationship? Have you in the past been responsible for sabotaging a relationship? |
| 0:51.0 | It's okay if you have. We've all done it, haven't we? We've all done something that we wish we hadn't said something in a way where we think, |
| 1:00.8 | God, if I'd have thought that out more if I could go back I would have said that differently |
| 1:04.6 | I would have had that argument differently or maybe if I'd have approached it in that manner we would never have had an argument |
| 1:11.2 | in the first place. |
| 1:12.5 | If you are the kind of person who perhaps leans into an anxious attachment style, we've all |
| 1:20.7 | heard, while many of us I suppose have heard that concept in the book |
| 1:25.4 | attached about the three different attachment styles, |
| 1:28.5 | avoidance, secure and anxious. If we find ourselves with that anxious attachment style then one of the things that we can be guilty of is seeing something that we don't like or perhaps is just reminiscent of an experience we've had in the past that we didn't like, |
| 1:48.1 | and now this is triggering us in a certain way. Our brain very quickly concocts a story about what's happening. It could be |
| 1:55.7 | that your boyfriend goes to a party and doesn't contact you for perhaps most of the night |
| 2:02.2 | whilst at that party and the anxious part of your brain |
| 2:07.8 | latches on to this and starts immediately calculating what this means. |
| 2:13.2 | We have this amazing ability as human beings |
| 2:16.1 | to construct story very quickly. |
| 2:18.4 | I think it's one of the best and worst parts, |
| 2:21.1 | I suppose, of being a human being is that we have this super computer |
| 2:24.8 | that makes deductions and calculations at this extraordinary rate and in this situation |
| 2:31.6 | especially if we're someone who has a kind of anxious mindset, |
| 2:35.2 | we can make lots of very rapid calculations about what this thing means. |
... |
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