S3, Ep 11 Friendship Therapy: Asking for Help in Friendship - how family dynamics play into our friendships in adulthood

Friendship Therapy

Emma Reed Turrell

Society & Culture, Relationships, Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 23 December 2024

⏱️ 38 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Welcome to this week's episode of Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships through a therapeutic lens. This week, Emma is joined by Katherine to talk about just how hard it can be sometimes to ask for help in friendships.

Emma and Katherine talk about the specifics of how to get help that's actually helpful in the present, as well as Katherine's experience growing up as the youngest sibling with the smallest voice, and the impact that her parents' separation in her twenties had on her as an adult child of divorce.

Emma also draws on Eric Byrne's transactional analysis parent adult child model to notice how Katherine has an abundance of critical parent around her, both within her friendships and in some of her family relationships too, but not so much of the nurturing parent that could offer genuine comfort, support and acceptance - and what it might take for Katherine to change some of those dynamics going forwards.

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Friendship Therapy is hosted by Emma Reed Turrell, produced by Chris Sharp and Lauren Brook.

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Social media:

Emma Reed Turrell @emmareedturrell
Friendship Therapy @friendshiptherapypod
Email: [email protected]

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to this week's episode of Friendship Therapy, the podcast in which we look at friendships
0:06.6	through a therapeutic lens. And this week, I'm joined by Catherine to talk about just how hard
0:13.0	it can be sometimes to ask for help in your friendships. We talk about the here and now and the
0:19.0	specifics of how to get help that's actually helpful. But we also talk about the here and now and the specifics of how to get help that's actually helpful,
0:22.5	but we also talk about the there and then,
0:24.8	and the more general sense of how it was for Catherine growing up as the youngest,
0:29.4	with the smallest voice, and what the ultimate separation of her parents in her 20s meant for her as an adult child of divorce. We draw on Eric Burns'
0:40.3	transactional analysis parent-adult child model to notice how Catherine has an abundance of critical
0:47.1	parent around her, both within her friendships and some of her family relationships,
0:52.9	but not so much of the nurturing parent.
0:55.7	Not so much of the part of parent within us all that could offer genuine nurture, comfort, support and acceptance.
1:05.0	And what it might take for Catherine to change some of those dynamics going forwards.
1:10.6	I hope you enjoy the episode.
1:15.5	Hi Catherine. How can I help? Something that I've always struggled with is asking for help myself.
1:24.3	And I come from a family that didn't really talk about things. I have had quite a few sort of
1:30.0	things happen to me and my sort of from my mid-20s. Now I'm in my mid-30s and I quite often have
1:37.1	kept that to myself and not shared it and not asked for support. I've got a lot of friends. Like I've got really big,
1:46.4	well, lots of different groups of friends. I find it really easy to make friends, but I do
1:51.0	struggle to tell them exactly how I'm feeling. And this has actually kind of escalated this year
1:56.4	where my university friends, very close group of friends, the friendship groups fallen apart a little bit for me
2:02.6	because I reached out and asked for support. So I'm now in a position where I don't feel like I can
2:07.8	reach out so much for support. I don't feel like I want to share with people as much anymore.
	...

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