The FREEZE Response of Narcissistic Abuse

Trauma & Narcissism Redefined

Caroline Strawson

Narcissisticabuse, Health & Fitness, Narcissist, Self-improvement, Education, Recovery, Mental Health, Trauma

4.8 • 701 Ratings

🗓️ 16 November 2021

⏱️ 15 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If we think about our nervous system and how it responds to perceived danger, we could compare it to traffic lights. The green light is when things are relatively under control. The amber light is when some alarms are triggered, and our body gets ready to either fight or flight. The red light is when we go into the dorsal vagal shutdown - we go into freeze.

In this episode, we'll use this analogy to understand why we go into freeze mode staying in uncomfortable and painful situations, and then learn why we shouldn't judge ourselves for doing it.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- The three stages of our nervous system's response to the environment

- Why we tend to stay in abusive relationships, even when they are excruciating

- Why our brain thinks that sometimes freezing is the best choice for us

It is crucial to understand that although we might feel depleted because of being in constant freeze mode, our brain is satisfied with its job. From the brain's point of view, we are still alive, it is mission accomplished. We must get curious about why some situations trigger our freeze response; that is our first step into healing.

Resources:

- Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse

- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/

- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the narcissistic trauma recovery podcast. I'm Caroline Strawson and I'll be sharing with you
0:09.5	awareness, understanding and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse to help you thrive.
0:16.4	I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are and I believe you. And this show is all about
0:23.1	taking you from trauma to transformation. Hey, it's so good to be here with you on this episode as I
0:34.9	sit here and I have my salt lamp in the corner. It's really, really dark outside.
0:40.9	So I feel kind of nice and cozy inside while I share this episode. And in this episode, I really want
0:46.8	to talk to you about why so many of us say stuck in a freeze trauma response when we're in
0:54.1	that narcissistic relationship.
0:56.6	And one of the reasons why I wanted to share this is so many of us, me included, because I've
1:01.2	been there, we get so filled with shame and guilt and self-criticism.
1:07.9	So I wanted to do this episode really to help you understand why these things happen
1:13.4	is all to do with the nervous system and really maybe getting curious and starting to think
1:19.0	in a more compassionate way towards yourself. Now, when we do think of our nervous system,
1:24.7	there's really a hierarchy to that. And I want you to almost imagine some
1:28.1	traffic lights here. So the green is when we're living our true self. We're in that driving
1:33.4	seat. We're hurtling down that highway and we're really in control of our life. Challenges can
1:41.1	come our way, but it's absolutely fine. Now, what happens in our nervous system is that moment
1:46.9	when we perceive, and that's the key word here, perceive, when we perceive threatened danger, our autonomic
1:54.1	nervous system will start to go into a fight flight initially. And that fight flight, think of it like that
2:00.5	traffic light of tolerance
2:01.6	again, that amber light. So our sympathetic nervous system engages. We mobilize more energy.
2:08.8	So we start to produce more adrenaline, more cortisol, nor epinephrine in anticipation of
	...

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