What to Do When Your Spouse Hates Sex

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 26 July 2023

⏱️ 37 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

It’s one thing to learn about differentiation and emotional maturity, but it’s another thing entirely to actually live it. Stepping into the deep anxiety and uncertainty of defining a self that others may not validate is a terrifying prospect, but it’s what must be done for people and relationships to evolve and grow. In this NEW podcast episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife joins Rhonda Farr to talk through two listener questions about desire dynamics and how to navigate the painful reality of having a spouse who is not interested in creating a better sexual relationship. During this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife expertly models how the higher desire partner can maturely handle themselves in difficult and productive conversations about sexuality. Listen to the full episode to learn more about: -Desire Dynamics -Duty Sex -Differentiation -Emotional and Sexual Maturity If you found this episode helpful, consider enrolling in Dr. Finlayson-Fife’s Enhancing Sexual Intimacy Course. This course was designed to help couples better understand and navigate the challenges in their intimate relationship.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of relationships, sexuality, and more, all featuring Dr Finlason-Fife.
0:20.0	Welcome back to the podcast. Today we are doing our interview with Dr. Jennifer
0:28.6	Finlason Fife. If you know me, undoubtedly know her.
0:33.2	So I don't feel like we need to spend a lot of time
0:35.2	on that introduction again.
0:37.0	We are actually coming together to talk about some questions
0:40.0	that come directly from our combined audiences.
0:43.5	And one person in particular,
0:45.0	I was just sharing before we first record,
0:47.6	he scheduled a consult call with me
0:49.6	to let me know that we have missed a very important topic so I reached out to Jennifer
0:56.2	afterwards and she was so gracious to come on and talk about this but it's the subject of
1:00.8	duty abstinence and I'm going to kind of frame what he called duty abstinence and
1:06.1	then I want to hear your thoughts about how you would frame it but he's like it's when your wife takes
1:12.2	sex off the table and everybody tells us this is a good
1:14.8	thing sometimes and obviously we have to respect her body her choices right like
1:20.6	that's a no-brainer but he's like you keep talking about what it's like for
1:25.4	her to have duty sex with me but nobody's talking about what it's like for me to have
1:31.4	duty abstinence for her so how do you what do you make of that do you think that's a
1:37.4	blind spot that we've missed what are your thoughts I don't think that I've missed that but I mean so what I mean by that is well first of all
1:46.0	it's a little bit different because duty abstinence suggests there's a choice there and I suppose
1:52.0	there's a choice you can force someone to have sex with you but
	...

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