When Your Friends & Family Tell You To Ignore The Narcissist

Trauma & Narcissism Redefined

Caroline Strawson

Narcissisticabuse, Health & Fitness, Narcissist, Self-improvement, Education, Recovery, Mental Health, Trauma

4.8 • 701 Ratings

🗓️ 7 December 2021

⏱️ 18 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Today I want to talk about something I went through when I was suffering narcissistic abuse, which is when your family and friends tell you to ignore the narcissist. As always, we’ll look at this from a trauma-informed lens. First, we’ll understand what is so triggering about receiving this kind of comments from our loved ones, and then what we can do to stop being triggered and avoid getting into unnecessary conflicts.

What You Will Learn In This Episode:

- Why the phrase "just ignore them" triggers us so much

- How hearing that from our loved ones makes us feel the need for validation

- What kind of addiction narcissistic abuse creates

- Why we must not feel shame or guilt for firing messages back at the narcissist

We must recognise that healing from narcissistic abuse is not just doing affirmations and repeating "I'm good enough" every day. We have to perform deep work in our bodies because traumatic experiences are stored there. They get locked in our bodies and go directly into our fascia, deep into the visceral level and into our nervous system.

Resources:

- Join my Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme™ https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse

- Join my Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse

- Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/

- My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Welcome to the narcissistic trauma recovery podcast. I'm Caroline Strawson and I'll be sharing with you
0:09.5	awareness, understanding and education about the devastating effects of narcissistic abuse to help you thrive.
0:16.4	I want you to know that I've been exactly where you are and I believe you. And this show is all
0:22.8	about taking you from trauma to transformation. Hey there. Welcome to this episode on the
0:33.6	narcissistic trauma recovery program. I'm absolutely delighted that you have found your way here.
0:40.0	Every episode comes out each Tuesday. So make sure that you are around so that I can help and
0:46.5	support you on your journey to heal and thrive after the trauma of narcissistic abuse.
0:51.1	Because let's be honest, it is trauma, isn't it? You know, however much
0:54.6	people say things to you, ignore, just get over it. It is so difficult. And there's so much
1:01.6	science behind this as well. And go and listen to some of my other episodes where I talk about
1:06.0	the nervous system and the neuroscience, the brain. Because I think when we actually understand
1:10.8	why we feel the way
1:12.1	that we do, we can really start to lift some of that shame. Certainly, that's how I felt when I
1:17.8	came out of my relationship with my ex-husband, who was a covert narcissist. Now, in today's
1:22.9	episode, I want to talk to you about something that I can really relate to myself and something that I sat in feeling quite angry about with my friends and family for a while as well.
1:33.3	And that is really when your friends and family start to say things like just ignore them.
1:38.7	So this could be if it's a family member who's a narcissist in your life.
1:42.5	But equally, and more often than not in
1:44.9	this scenario, it's when it's with an ex-partner. So maybe you've split up from a narcissist and
1:51.4	you know you shouldn't be communicating as much as you are. You know you shouldn't be responding to
1:56.6	those text messages or emails or rowing with them at the door, maybe at handover with the children.
2:03.0	But there's just something inside of you that really, really struggle to do that. And your friends
	...

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