Why We Don’t Change (and what you can do about it) with Dr. Ross Ellenhorn

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Being Well

Health & Fitness, Education, Self-improvement, Mental Health

4.8 • 2.4K Ratings

🗓️ 2 December 2024

⏱️ 75 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Why does change feel so difficult, even when we desperately want it? Dr. Ross Ellenhorn joins the show to explore our resistance to change, and the many good reasons we might have to stay just as we are. Forrest and Dr. Ellenhorn discuss the “fear of hope,” the allure of sameness, and what actually helps people develop the confidence to make meaningful changes in their lives. Topics include challenging conventional self-help wisdom, existential dread, dealing with disappointment, major issues in social work, psychedelics, and self-compassion. About our Guest: Ross Ellenhorn is a psychotherapist and sociologist, the owner and CEO of Ellenhorn, a community-integration program offering services for individuals experiencing addictive behaviors or extreme and complex states of mind and mood, and the author of three books including How We Change (and Ten Reasons Why We Don’t). You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 1:00: How Dr. Ross’s background in social work influences his outlook on change 6:20: What makes people want to stay the same 18:00: Self-efficacy, faith, and making hope big 24:55: Seeing your problems as solutions 30:00: Grappling with existential anxiety 34:20: The shock of recognition, and connecting with motivations through dialog 40:25: Managing disappointment 43:20: Psychosocial rehab, and the changing definition of mental health 52:55: Psychedelics and direct action 1:04:30: Recap I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell. Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co. Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, everyone, welcome to Being Well.
0:08.9	I'm Forrest Hanson.
0:10.2	If you're new to the show, thanks for listening today.
0:12.1	And if you've listened before, welcome back.
0:14.1	We've recorded roughly 400 episodes of Being Well.
0:17.8	And we have talked about a lot during those episodes.
0:20.5	But you could argue that
0:21.6	all 400 of them come back to a fundamental question. What helps us change? Particularly what can we
0:27.1	develop inside of ourselves that supports us in changing in the ways that we want to. I'm joined
0:31.8	today by a very special guest who has spent their career exploring that question, Dr. Ross Ellenhorn.
0:37.1	Ross is a psychotherapist and sociologist, the owner and CEO of Ellenhorn, a community integration
0:42.4	program offering services for individuals experiencing addictive behaviors or extreme and complex
0:48.6	states of mind and mood, and the author of three books, including How We Change and Ten Reasons
0:54.0	Why We Don't.
0:54.8	So, Ross, thanks for joining me today. How are you doing? Good, good. It's good to be here.
0:58.9	I'm so glad to have you for this. I want to start by saying that I personally find your work
1:03.1	really fascinating. I appreciate it a lot because I feel like you kind of poke out a lot of
1:08.1	conventional wisdom about what really helps people change. For example,
1:11.6	as we'll talk a bit later, how some people can have a fear of hope, which we tend to think of
1:15.5	as a purely positive emotion. Another thing you do is you tend to encourage people to focus
1:19.5	a bit on contemplation before action when a lot of self-help content focuses on really moving
1:24.5	people into action, behavioral activation, all of that kind of stuff.
	...

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