There is some effect that happens that is so strange and so difficult and confusing

that it can make the pain of losing someone.

Something feels like it's never going to end. In my book, Love Life, which came out last year, I wrote an entire chapter.

What chapter was it?

Chapter 12. It was called How to Leave when you can't seem to leave.

What it was really about was how to leave a narcissist.

I didn't use the word

narcissist in the title because I didn't want to, you know, we live in a world today where

narcissism is quite a divisive thing. A lot of people accuse content creators of throwing

around the word with situations and people where it's not warranted. Now my hope is that many people read that chapter and then

left someone that they needed to leave as a result. But I know that committing to the decision to

leave and holding to that decision are two very different things. Once we have left someone, we still have an enormous amount of work ahead of us

in dealing with the emotions that will inevitably arise, emotions that threaten to make us go back

to the source of our pain. For some, moving on from a situation like this can take years.

For others, it can feel like they're not going to get any relief until the day someone dies. All we do.

So before we get into this and I give you my thoughts on why it is so difficult to move on from these situations and what you can do about it, it probably makes sense to loosely define the kind of person I'm talking about here.

Now, I'm not going to give a clinical definition of a narcissist because for the purposes of this

video, it's not actually necessary. I want you to think about this person, whether they are

diagnosable as a narcissist or not, as someone who has been a maligning force

in your life.

Someone whose behavior is either intentionally malignant or the effect of the way they operate

is just poison for our lives.

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