(Rewind): Want To Keep Their Attention? DO NOT CHASE; Do THIS Instead

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 18 April 2025

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We all know we won’t connect with everyone we meet . . . but one of the most frustrating situations we can find ourselves in is one where we feel an initial spark and a connection, but things just don’t seem to progress. And in the end, they end up fading as we feel a lack of momentum.

Rather than giving in to our desire to double down on communication, there’s a simple shift we can make on a date that allows unique attraction to grow. And it’s the kind of thing that will leave them thinking of us long after the date has ended . . .

If you’d like to learn what this ingredient is and how you can add it to your next date, don’t miss this week’s brand-new video.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	and they have one great quality that they see, but then they see something else and they go,
0:03.9	oh my God, that's those two things together, that's the sweet spot. That's Matthew Hussey with the Love Life podcast. I am excited to share this clip with you today. Let's get into it.
0:39.5	I got a question recently and I thought I'd bring it to you today because I think it's
0:44.5	going to help a lot of people. This person said, I feel stuck. Last May, I got out of a 10-year
0:50.1	relationship I was in since I was 19. I'm doing a lot of self-development and I found that when
0:55.7	it comes to love and dating, people don't seem to be attracted to open good communication at first.
1:02.9	I've been told I get into deep talk really fast, but then I keep getting friends zoned by really
1:08.5	attractive people because of it wouldn't it be
1:11.4	better if I could just be this healthy communicative open person and then
1:16.7	attract that kind of person or are flirting and good communication often at odds I
1:24.4	thought this was a great question because the answer gets to the heart of why so many people
1:32.3	do not get the call at the end of a first date. We all have our superpower, the language we know the best.
1:41.3	And that superpower can be an incredible thing. In this woman's case,
1:46.2	it's her ability to go deep, is her ability to empathize, is her ability to be sincere and to have
1:53.5	meaningful conversations. But when taken to its extreme, it can become a disadvantage.
2:01.7	In her case, you hear she's getting friend zoned by people she's attracted to.
2:07.6	I want you, as I start talking in this video, to think,
2:10.7	what's the language or the superpower that I know or have that I can do really, really well. What's that thing for me that
2:23.2	comes out when I'm on a date? The problem with having a superpower like that is that we tend to rely on it.
2:31.0	We lean on it and we can be too much of it. And we forget that for someone to really find us irresistible,
2:40.0	they need to see more than one of these components.
2:45.0	For her, she had good communication, but communication isn't the same as attraction. Communication is understanding
	...

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