What Women Want: Understanding Female Arousal and Orgasm | Q&A Discussion

Conversations with Dr. Jennifer

Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Self-improvement, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.4 • 978 Ratings

🗓️ 12 March 2025

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

A woman's arousal is highly connected to her sense of freedom in her relationship. Yet so many of us create relational realities where women don't feel free — where sex is about managing a spouse's sense of self or "needs." In this mindset sex becomes another job to do. And as Esther Perel says, "sex can be work or play, but it cannot be both." When you create a relationship with your spouse where you feel free to be who you are, free from managing their sense of self, and free to show your strength, sex becomes a place you want to be —a place of ease. In this episode, Dr. Finlayson-Fife answers questions about female arousal and orgasm. She discusses the impact of societal and personal beliefs on women's sexual experiences, the connection between emotional freedom and sexual well-being, and offers practical advice for overcoming common challenges women face such as performance anxiety, self-judgment, and the aftermath of sexual trauma. To learn more about this topic, enroll in Dr. Finlayson-Fife's Art of Desire course! Or, better yet, join us for one of our upcoming Art of Desire Events!

Transcript

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0:00.0	A lot of people are in enormous amounts of shame and self-rejection and then wanting their spouse to be the one who solves that shame and self-rejection.
0:08.5	And the spouse can't be the one, even if they fully accept you.
0:12.2	If you haven't come to peace with who you are, you're not going to be able to integrate and receive that acceptance and that care.
0:19.9	There's lots of times where men are like,
0:21.5	my wife is so beautiful.
0:23.0	I love her so much.
0:24.2	And I'm sure that it's true,
0:26.2	but she can't receive it
0:27.7	because she doesn't yet see herself properly.
0:31.5	She hasn't yet come to a place of peace within herself.
0:41.7	I don't know. of peace within herself. Welcome to conversations with Dr. Jennifer, a collection of interviews on the topics of
0:47.0	relationships, sexuality, spirituality, and more.
0:51.1	All featuring Dr. Finlayson Fife.
0:56.4	Okay, so let me just say a little bit about women's arousal
1:00.0	and then a bit about female orgasm
1:02.2	and some of the challenges that women and couples can have around orgasm.
1:09.2	The first thing I would say is that, you know, for those of you have
1:13.3	taken my art of desire course, this you will understand. But women's arousal is highly connected
1:20.5	to their experience of freedom. And so to be sexual, a woman wants to feel free. And when she feels free in her
1:32.9	sexuality, it's a place she'll want to go. A lot of people create sexual relational realities
1:41.2	in which the woman is not free, that she is taking care of her husband's
1:47.7	sexual needs, that she is managing his sense of self by giving him the sex that he wants,
	...

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