CALL CHELSEA PERETTI

Slime and Charcoal chicken obsessed Chelsea and Sabrina freestyle about an upcoming live show endeavor, create TGIF acronyms, argue about chicken soup, discuss color mixing, debt, art, parenting, blah blah blah. Chelsea speaks to some senior who was bullied by a freshman.

Transcribed - Published: 20 April 2025

Robby Hoffman, who has 9 siblings, throws Chelsea into the perpetual reaction seat with innumerable hot takes, such as: skin care is a scam, washing hands is bad, trans people are fine, ADHD doesn't exist, etc. Chelsea searches for points of connection, like grilled cheese, a mistrust of Nest, a dislike of cut fruit, and thinking flowers are beautiful. A caller does an unauthorized infomercial for a jeweler.

Transcribed - Published: 30 March 2025

Carmen Christopher joins Chelsea for a chaotic episode full of slime, snacks, and conspiracy theories. They talk about Manson expressions, ADHD vs. meditation, and whether slime could end wars, while Carmen’s mom mistakes Chelsea for Chelsea Handler. There’s water chugging, prank calls, limes full of boogers, and a passionate debate about soup.

Transcribed - Published: 16 March 2025

Chelsea struggles with restless leg syndrome and on-camera tics while discussing fires, karaoke, crying hangs, Canada's age, AI, shark attacks, ADHD, pottery perfectionism, sinus issues, a long term plan for escaping the algo, going grey, the power of bird song, and Western medicine inflating life expectancy. A caller sings Mariah from a subway platform. An "apolitical" caller from Texas shares about stealing eggs. A caller offers a lifechanging food test. Wolf howls.

Transcribed - Published: 2 March 2025

patreon.com/callchelseaperetti Chelsea explores ASMR—crunchy snacks, plastic sounds, and the perils of ASMR gatekeeping—while fielding calls on parenting through calamities, AQI confusion, and the fleeting magic of sumo oranges. A caller stuck in traffic gets pulled into an immigration deep dive and sings classical Indian music, Chelsea contemplates the hamster wheel of social media, liberals hating each other, and whether a pig eating Pop Rocks would be the ultimate ASMR. Along the way, she hangs up on an Olympian, questions a possible fart sound, and revisits Beavis & Butthead as a coping mechanism.

Transcribed - Published: 2 February 2025

A rousing episode recorded before the holidays where Chelsea devises some stellar new acronyms for T.G.I.F. Turkish oil wrestling, unarchiving lost songs for the pod, a truly random person calls in and MORE. See full video for this episode at patreon.com/callchelseaperetti

Transcribed - Published: 13 January 2025

patreon.com/callchelseaperetti A lady calls from Vegas and we delve into the consequences of the Sphere. Chelsea tries to make her voice melodic and largely fails. A mesmerizing meditation on raccoon feces and deadly oysters. A classic Diddy / Ani convo. Alabama BBQ.

Transcribed - Published: 29 December 2024

patreon.com/callchelseaperetti Eavesdrop on a gathering of opinionated minds… and mouths… in this very special live anniversary episode of beloved podcast: Call Chelsea Peretti. Shocking audience polls that will leave you shaken to your core. A game! A reading of a letter young CP penned to SNL (and other memorabilia from times of yore). Inflammatory live taste tests. An audience expert on legumes and a woman who has eaten Schav in Minsk. A conclusion that promises to leave a lasting question-mark in your very soul. Special guests Carmen Christopher, Andrea Jin, Sabrina Jalees and Shauna Mccann, round out what is sure to be an absolute classic. WATCH FULL UNCUT VIDEO OF THIS EPISODE AND HEAR ALL EPISODES OF CALL CHELSEA PERETTI EVERY SUNDAY AT patreon.com/callchelseaperetti

Transcribed - Published: 15 December 2024

Positive-minded yogi Rachel Grant Jackson of Chelsea's collegiate improv troupe "Six Milks" visits the pod on a day in which the coff is particularly a-crankin.

Transcribed - Published: 1 December 2024

Original airdate: 10.09.2012 In this already classic pilot episode Chelsea takes the temp of her callers: the son of a white supremacist, a weird German dude, a pizza delivery girl, The Kid Mero (her only friend in the Bronx), and more. Debut of Coffee Crankin Thru My Sys song.

Transcribed - Published: 24 November 2024

In this first CCP ep back as an indie podcast, you will restart your journey and reconnect with your deepest self. Thank you, as always, to the callers and listeners.

Transcribed - Published: 17 November 2024

Chelsea and her dog discuss squeaky sounds, documentarys (Tell Them You Love Me), Rie Parenting, and assess inventory of how product is moving. Also: grama impressions, hummingbird asmr, big dogs. A blood pants customer calls to discuss carbon underwear. Chelsea tries to speak italian to the probable great shame of her ancestors. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 4 July 2024

Chelsea and her dog discuss squeaky sounds, documentarys (Tell Them You Love Me), Rie Parenting, and assess inventory of how product is moving. Also: grama impressions, hummingbird asmr, big dogs. A blood pants customer calls to discuss carbon underwear. Chelsea tries to speak italian to the probable great shame of her ancestors. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 4 July 2024

Aisling Bea (plus 1) comes to reluctantly share her origin story as Chelsea continues to chase a Pulitzer for her intrepid journalistic instincts. Accents! Gigs! Bath calls! Psychics! In this episode Chelsea is told she has uk vibes and is queer-coded. The first Gay Test, sharing makeup, hygiene, 10-2 politics.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 27 June 2024

Aisling Bea (plus 1) comes to reluctantly share her origin story as Chelsea continues to chase a Pulitzer for her intrepid journalistic instincts. Accents! Gigs! Bath calls! Psychics! In this episode Chelsea is told she has uk vibes and is queer-coded. The first Gay Test, sharing makeup, hygiene, 10-2 politics.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 27 June 2024

Chelsea’s longtime comedy bud Brendon Walsh joins us today! Chat about bad haircuts, being muted, micro-dosing, pants-off therapy, camping, and hanging curtains turns into Moth level storytelling about Brendon’s Philly childhood of pure violence. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 20 June 2024

Chelsea’s longtime comedy bud Brendon Walsh joins us today! Chat about bad haircuts, being muted, micro-dosing, pants-off therapy, camping, and hanging curtains turns into Moth level storytelling about Brendon’s Philly childhood of pure violence. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 20 June 2024

Nick Kroll joins the pod to talk to callers on their parents phone plans, take food tests, list allergies, and discuss things like Runyan Canyon lipquids and the smell of rainy school days.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 13 June 2024

Nick Kroll joins the pod to talk to callers on their parents phone plans, take food tests, list allergies, and discuss things like Runyon Canyon lipquids and the smell of rainy school days.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 13 June 2024

Chelsea is joined by Scott Aukerman and Brendon Walsh for a very special pod. Also with: Nick Kroll, Moshe Kasher, Aisling Bea. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 6 June 2024

Chelsea is joined by Scott Aukerman and Brendon Walsh for a very special all advertisement pod. Also with: Nick Kroll, Moshe Kasher, Aisling Bea.

Transcribed - Published: 6 June 2024

A punning Rick Glassman and dazzling Chelsea meet for the first time, scrutinize each others mouth sounds, and discuss misophonic reactions to chip crunchin, ice chompin, and sharp perfumes. Also: Rick’s comfort in lying and lack of self-consciousness, Chelsea’s lack of feeling, the alpha/beta dynamic, Rick’s stand-up secret (act outs), merits of being high, Rick’s troubled left testicle, donuts vrs sundaes, a Chabbat caller bails, Detroit landmarks, a compelling vision of Chelsea on Rick’s podcast. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 30 May 2024

A punning Rick Glassman and dazzling Chelsea meet for the first time, scrutinize each others mouth sounds, and discuss misophonic reactions to chip crunchin, ice chompin, and sharp perfumes. Also: Rick’s comfort in lying and lack of self-consciousness, Chelsea’s lack of feeling, the alpha/beta dynamic, Rick’s stand-up secret (act outs), merits of being high, Rick’s troubled left testicle, donuts vrs sundaes, a Chabbat caller bails, Detroit landmarks, a compelling vision of Chelsea on Rick’s podcast.

Transcribed - Published: 30 May 2024

Todd Glass and Chelsea are reunited for a robust session of selling items with every ounce of their souls.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 23 May 2024

Todd Glass and Chelsea are reunited for a robust session of selling items with every ounce of their souls.

Transcribed - Published: 23 May 2024

Hacks writer and Tiktok enthusiast Joe Mande joins for a podcast that takes a neggy turn midway through, culminating in a pizza party! Callers watch TV and walk around creaky environments slamming doors through a discussion of: the Parks N Rec writers room, the societal merits of being a hater, Dave King's debate pod, how to approach celebs, gross social media recipes, fermented foods, babka, and what Joe pickles. Canned peaches girl calls again.  A “bewildered” caller tells Chelsea she posts too much and doesnt get enough engagement. Another caller let's Chelsea know that her brother does not like Chelsea. A girl calls Joe: "Chris." A commenter says Joe looks 70. A girl describes her past lives, as explored through meditation. PCP and Fit Shortie. Slash g. Slash s.

Transcribed - Published: 16 May 2024

Hacks writer and Tiktok enthusiast Joe Mande joins for a podcast that takes a neggy turn midway through, culminating in a pizza party! Callers watch TV and walk around creaky environments slamming doors through a discussion of: the Parks N Rec writers room, the societal merits of being a hater, Dave King's debate pod, how to approach celebs, gross social media recipes, fermented foods, babka, and what Joe pickles. Canned peaches girl calls again. A “bewildered” caller tells Chelsea she posts too much and doesnt get enough engagement. Another caller let's Chelsea know that her brother does not like Chelsea. A girl calls Joe: "Chris." A commenter says Joe looks 70. A girl describes her past lives, as explored through meditation. PCP and Fit Shortie. Slash g. Slash s.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 16 May 2024

Chelsea takes calls & goes through your voicemails, answering all your burning questions about social media resentments, hoarders, rejection, crushes, adult friendship, spontaneity lovers versus planners, family movies, celeb friends, rattlesnakes and other predator animals in cities, travel, coffee quitters, trinkets and gift-giving. A foreign government musician calls! A special voicemail music mix by the legendary Kooool Kojak.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 9 May 2024

Chelsea takes calls & goes through your voicemails, answering all your burning questions about social media resentments, hoarders, rejection, crushes, adult friendship, spontaneity lovers versus planners, family movies, celeb friends, rattlesnakes and other predator animals in cities, travel, coffee quitters, trinkets and gift-giving. A foreign government musician calls! A special voicemail music mix by the legendary Kooool Kojak.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 9 May 2024

Author of the upcoming cookie recipe book "Crumbs", former food writer for the la times and die hard wendy williams fan joins CCP to discuss citrus, the pch, willow smith, marie kondo quitting, calling people honey, comment sections closing time vibes, cookie ice cream sandwiches, ozempic bruising, plastic use, composting and spaghetti limone. Canned peaches/tahini girl shocks the pod. A discussion of an ideal international record time. A campaign for charoset to be a year round snack. Chelsea is a new podcast listener and shares thoughts. ...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 2 May 2024

Author of the upcoming cookie recipe book "Crumbs", former food writer for the la times and die hard wendy williams fan joins CCP to discuss citrus, the pch, willow smith, marie kondo quitting, calling people honey, comment sections closing time vibes, cookie ice cream sandwiches, ozempic bruising, plastic use, composting and spaghetti limone. Canned peaches/tahini girl shocks the pod. A discussion of an ideal international record time. A campaign for charoset to be a year round snack. Chelsea is a new podcast listener and shares thoughts.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 2 May 2024

Chelsea chats about robot overlords then makes several half-hearted attempts at guided visualizations with largely disinterested callers who probably have Aphantasia. An overlong discussion of B12. Salad talk. A celebration of Kojak’s songs. Comment section outrage. Sweet tooth snacks. Protein. A brown recluse cameo featuring tunneling necrotic flesh. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 25 April 2024

Chelsea chats about robot overlords then makes several half-hearted attempts at guided visualizations with largely disinterested callers who probably have Aphantasia. An overlong discussion of B12. Salad talk. A celebration of Kojak’s songs. Comment section outrage. Sweet tooth snacks. Protein. A brown recluse cameo featuring tunneling necrotic flesh. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 25 April 2024

Concord's own Blake Anderson is in studio for a high-octane, alarming ep in which we learn that Aphantasia, though it affects 1% of the population, affects 95% of CCP callers. Harrowing updates on a past ep's attack mini poodle and Chelsea's Blokudoku score. A hyper, coffee-fueled, spooky consortium on coyotes, mountain lions, work passwords, airports, Cycle Yanks, and rabies. Chelsea chases another Pullitzer in her deep dive investigative journalism around key words: "Virginia" and 'dogs" and introduces the show's first SuperGavel(tm). Some food tests. Episode culminates in a super-taster test strip tasting. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 18 April 2024

Concord's own Blake Anderson is in studio for a high-octane, alarming ep in which we learn that Aphantasia, though it affects 1% of the population, affects 95% of CCP callers. Harrowing updates on a past ep's attack mini poodle and Chelsea's Blokudoku score. A hyper, coffee-fueled, spooky consortium on coyotes, mountain lions, work passwords, airports, Cycle Yanks, and rabies. Chelsea chases another Pullitzer in her deep dive investigative journalism around key words: "Virginia" and 'dogs" and introduces the show's first SuperGavel(tm). Some food tests. Episode culminates in a super-taster test strip tasting. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 18 April 2024

Chelsea has garish accidentally purple eyebrows and hosts comedy genius Roisin Canarty. As Chelsea squints for invisible subtitles that never come, she learns about claggy foods, sliding fruit, and the best mascara.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 11 April 2024

Chelsea has garish accidentally purple eyebrows and hosts comedy genius Roisin Canarty. As Chelsea squints for invisible subtitles that never come, she learns about claggy foods, sliding fruit, and the best mascara.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 11 April 2024

A very bay ep with one of chelseas jr high school besties, a dr w a phd in theology and impeccable penmanship, Sarai Crain comes to the show. Songs! A discussion of being silly as a survival mechanism in 7th and 8th grades, shy roasters, crimped bangs, perms, rayon as a dominant textile, starter jackets, used leggings. Chelsea learns that many of her callers used to be emo. Chelsea as a failed blond. A callers Brazilian Petroleum fail and a teachers “sounds naive” in red ink. DJP caller ! First time drunk. Oysters / mussels / spengers. Chelsea learns she has mispronounced Appalachian her whole life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 4 April 2024

A very bay ep with one of chelseas jr high school besties, a dr w a phd in theology and impeccable penmanship, Sarai Crain comes to the show. Songs! A discussion of being silly as a survival mechanism in 7th and 8th grades, shy roasters, crimped bangs, perms, rayon as a dominant textile, starter jackets, used leggings. Chelsea learns that many of her callers used to be emo. Chelsea as a failed blond. A callers Brazilian Petroleum fail and a teachers “sounds naive” in red ink. DJP caller ! First time drunk. Oysters / mussels / spengers. Chelsea learns she has mispronounced Appalachian her whole life.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 4 April 2024

Chelsea is interviewed by a strange and largely benevolent robot in this very special episode. With her directorial debut "First Time Female Director" out on Roku, a PMSing Chelsea takes a sudden philosophical interest in the world of criticism and review culture, envies scientists, mourns for Wendy Williams, explores the most polite way to say one has to go to the bathroom, and learns about pillow weight gain. Caller "Golden Tickets" and the first "Ozempic Food Test" are introduced. Longtime podcaster, first time crying on podcast podcaster.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 28 March 2024

Chelsea is interviewed by a strange and largely benevolent robot in this very special episode. With her directorial debut "First Time Female Director" out on Roku, a PMSing Chelsea takes a sudden philosophical interest in the world of criticism and review culture, envies scientists, mourns for Wendy Williams, explores the most polite way to say one has to go to the bathroom, and learns about pillow weight gain. Caller "Golden Tickets" and the first "Ozempic Food Test" are introduced. Longtime podcaster, first time crying on podcast podcaster.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 28 March 2024

"The Sandwich King" Jeff Mauro, whose aunt was head of rat patrol for the city of Chicago, pops by to eat his favorite sandwich and share a malted milkshake. He and Chelsea invent the seesaw technique, and discuss Chuck e Cheese pizza, Katsu, habitual toasters, char, bean sandiwches, eggplant and tahdig, rice, hinged rolls, gloppy food like egg salad, and ciabatta aka she-broughta bread. A caller introduces the first ever "Dog Test!" Chelsea starts typing a podcast show bible and is almost taken out by a caraway seed. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 21 March 2024

"The Sandwich King" Jeff Mauro, whose aunt was head of rat patrol for the city of Chicago, pops by to eat his favorite sandwich and share a malted milkshake. He and Chelsea invent the seesaw technique, and discuss Chuck e Cheese pizza, Katsu, habitual toasters, char, bean sandiwches, eggplant and tahdig, rice, hinged rolls, gloppy food like egg salad, and ciabatta aka she-broughta bread. A caller introduces the first ever "Dog Test!" Chelsea starts typing a podcast show bible and is almost taken out by a caraway seed. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 21 March 2024

"The Sandwich King" Jeff Mauro, whose aunt was head of rat patrol for the city of Chicago, pops by to eat his favorite sandwich and share a malted milkshake. He and Chelsea invent the seesaw technique, and discuss Chuck e Cheese pizza, Katsu, habitual toasters, char, bean sandiwches, eggplant and tahdig, rice, hinged rolls, gloppy food like egg salad, and ciabatta aka she-broughta bread. A caller introduces the first ever "Dog Test!" Chelsea starts typing a podcast show bible and is almost taken out by a caraway seed.

Transcribed - Published: 21 March 2024

"The Sandwich King" Jeff Mauro, whose aunt was head of rat patrol for the city of Chicago, pops by to eat his favorite sandwich and share a malted milkshake. He and Chelsea invent the seesaw technique, and discuss Chuck e Cheese pizza, Katsu, habitual toasters, char, bean sandiwches, eggplant and tahdig, rice, hinged rolls, gloppy food like egg salad, and ciabatta aka she-broughta bread. A caller introduces the first ever "Dog Test!" Chelsea starts typing a podcast show bible and is almost taken out by a caraway seed.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 21 March 2024

Entertainer-to-the-bone Paul Scheer, hot off a cold plunge, blasts into the CCP studio for a late in the day coffee and high-octane, wordplay-heavy chat about highly sensitive people, "sir" as a slur, work emails, work costumes, cannoli, Yordy Rance, cold cases, OCD, intrusive thoughts, personality disorders, age. A therapist calls and refuses to diagnose Chelsea. Crying at a Veteran's hospital and children's hospital. Dog gurneys. Aliens. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 14 March 2024

Entertainer-to-the-bone Paul Scheer, hot off a cold plunge, blasts into the CCP studio for a late in the day coffee and high-octane, wordplay-heavy chat about highly sensitive people, "sir" as a slur, work emails, work costumes, cannoli, Yordy Rance, cold cases, OCD, intrusive thoughts, personality disorders, age. A therapist calls and refuses to diagnose Chelsea. Crying at a Veteran's hospital and children's hospital. Dog gurneys. Aliens. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 14 March 2024

In this very special episode Chelsea is joined by two Rokuligans, comedy geniuses, and cast members of First Time Female Director: Benito Skinner and Kate Berlant. Benny roasts Chelsea’s phone while Chelsea nurses her hand wounds from a fall on the way into studio. They attempt a variety of accents, discuss the merits of setting spray, and a caller raises awareness on the emergency blueberry bagel as medicine for stomach viruses. Kate arrives and the trio speaks on Beaudegas, marzipan and princess cake, yucca fries, la restaurants, sparkling tea, the breville bambino, teeth, veneers, salmon recipes, air fryer issues,microwaves versus cooking over the cauldron, cheese, breastmilk, Roku city, Mexico city, girl couch, Bennys tv show, Kate's stage show, and becoming a cheesemonger apprentice as a mid-life career shift. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 9 March 2024

Two prominent women in film, beauty influencer Esther Povitsky and renowned shut-in Chelsea Peretti, come together to discuss food, almost exclusively. You can see them starring in “First Time Female Director” on Roku Friday March 8 and Drugstore June on Apple March 8. Do a double-header or just watch Chelsea’s. Thanks!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 7 March 2024

Two prominent women in film, beauty influencer Esther Povitsky and renowned shut-in Chelsea Peretti, come together to discuss food, almost exclusively. You can see them starring in “First Time Female Director” on Roku Friday March 8 and Drugstore June on Apple March 8. Do a double-header or just watch Chelsea’s. Thanks!See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcribed - Published: 7 March 2024